[Just a warning, this post has nothing more than me rambling and being whiny.]
At twenty-one I learned that the journey is more important than the destination. I was a broke moron graduating college and feeling the restlessness of a new post-graduate life. So I hopped in my 1964 Beetle and headed to Santa Fe, New Mexico. And it was a great drive into some stark and beautiful country.
When I arrived in Santa Fe. I found lots of beauty and wonders, but mostly I found my restlessness and loneliness magnified. I don't know if I've ever felt emptier. Before leaving there, I wrote the line Motion is the only virtue left to August. Heading back to Lubbock at 80 miles per hour in a 60 mile per hour car was a tremendous relief.
A decade ago, I met a newborn. A few months later my mother adopted him. That's how I ended up with a little brother forty years my junior.
As he's grown up, it becomes more and more obvious that his brain views the world differently than most of us. He has autism (and a handful of things that go hand in hand with that diagnosis.) He is intellectually brilliant, hyperactive, and seems to view all people as one-dimensional. In layman's terms, he's an unaware genius and we are paper dolls in his world.
Watching him grow up has made me question most (if not all) of my beliefs. As he grows older, his needs eclipse the needs of those around him. As we've sought help for him, we've learned that Texas is one of the worst states in our country for kids needing mental health care. At this time we are desperately seeking a better life for him and finding little hope.
Trying to create a better life for him has eclipsed a lot of who I normally aspire to be.
About six years ago, this blog was born. And it was a shocking thing for me. I grew up a gearhead in a West Texas oilfield town. I grew up loving all things that required wheels and gasoline. So, the leap from that to a guy who had come to realize that we were selfishly destroying life on earth so that we could have styrofoam convenience and better parking, well, let's just say it was a huge reversal. But pursuing a cleaner and (hopefully) less selfish life and encouraging others to do the same has always felt right. I have loved being the Mesquite Hugger, but there's been little time for that lately and time devoted to it means sacrifice in more important areas, so there's not much to see here.
A little less than two decades ago, I fell in love with a wonderful woman and came to know Christ. In Jesus, I find a savior and a role model. In Jesus I find a reason to care for all people and all life. In Jesus I find a call to non-selfish, non-judgmental stewardship. In striving to be Christ-like I find a destination worthy of a journey. I have also found a lot of generous-hearted people striving for the same.
[All the while, I struggle with being labeled a "Christian" when there are so many prominent Christians espousing judgmentalism, elitism, and condemnation. Ugh!]
At the end of the day, I thank you for taking time to read this blog. I hope that whatever roles you find yourself in, you can find find joy in seeking better for all.
May your destination be more worthwhile than your journey.