Thursday, September 3, 2015

Why I am building a(nother) vintage electric scooter

1. I love vintage scooters.

I started out loving fat and round cars from the 50's. Then I fell in love with motorcycles. Then I realized that vintage scooters offer the best of both worlds. I have owned/driven/ridden lots of vehicles, and nothing offers me the joy, the mirth, and the exhiliration of travel more than zipping about town on an old scooter.

2. I feel downright guilty every time I fire up an internal combustion engine.

I hold a very simplistic view of the pursuit of happiness - everyone should have the right to pursue happiness provided that pursuit does not harm others. Releasing carbon monoxide (and lots of other petroleum-based gases) into the air so that one can drive to the 7-11 to buy a Big Gulp is very clearly harmful to our continued existence. (If you want clear proof of this, fire up a gas-powered lawn mower in your living room and hang out for a little while.)

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3. I am very scooter-vain.

When I ride most modern scooters, I feel like Barbie's ex-boyfriend Ken after 47 years of bad dietary, exercise, and overall life choices - sad, plastic, emasculated. (Driving four-door sedans impacts me the same way with a little generic thrown in to boot.)

4. I am a patriot.

My choice to limit petroleum consumption lessens our country's depence on other (sometimes angry) oil-producing countries and those incredibly life-destructive Canadian tar sands.

5. I am a financial moron. (Here comes an e-bike digression.)

The math works out vastly better for riding an electric bicycle than for riding a vintage e-scooter. The bicycle requires no insurance, registration, or inspection sticker. The bicycle also weighs less, requires less power for the same work, costs less, and takes up less space in the garage (or living room.)

6. I forgot to buy a Corvette when I had my mid-life crisis.

What screams, "I am looking for external validation of my manly worth and virility!" more than riding a six-decades-old electric scooter? (I might need to re-think that point a bit.)

7. It's slightly less dorky than driving a Vanguard Citicar. (Which I would oh-so-happily drive!)

No explanation needed.

8. I want to be an eco-evangelist each time I leave the house.

When John Q. Public pulls up next to me at a light and says, "Nice Vespa, man! How many miles per gallon does it get?" I'll say, "Dude, we need to talk..."

Whatever your reasons, may you find your way to transport healthier for all.